An “ugly” slur has been hurled on The Bachelor — with cameras appearing to catch the moment that one girl tries to deny. James Weir recaps.
We’re three episodes into the latest series of The Bachelor which means, if everything goes according to plan, the mansion is about to be rocked by a C-word scandal at any momen-
“So Holly’s a c**t,” one of of the girls observes while sipping a herbal tea in the living room as the morning sun dapples through the french doors.
And there it is.
JAMES WEIR RECAPS: Read all the recaps here
Wednesday night’s episode opens with scenes of Jimmy captaining a speedboat that’s zipping around the sparkly turquoise coves of Sydney’s Northern Beaches.
“I know these waterways like the back of my hand,” he proudly tells some girl called Ash as they embark on a single date adventure.
He navigates the coast with the same confidence I apply when stalking backstreets to park my car in illegally.
Ash is super impressed and tries her best to show Jimmy that she’s the perfect girl for him.
“I love to beach, love to bike ride. I’m very active. Love the outdoors,” she gushes.
It seems like she’s just telling Jimmy what he wants to hear. And it’s a very dangerous move. When you start dating someone active who loves the outdoors, it can be tempting to lie about your own affinity with nature. We saw it last year with the girls on Locky’s season. But word of warning: if you say you love camping, you will get dragged camping. And if you fib about how you love kayaking, don’t be surprised if the guy goes and buys you one for your birthday.
“I have an online dance school,” Ash informs us.
Translation: She does dances on TikTok. We then have to sit through slow-mo footage of her doing her TikTok dances.
Once their boat makes it to a muddy bank, they jump out and continue their date on the edges of a secluded swamp. The conversation is scintillating. Honestly, you can just feel the chemistry between them.
“How old do you think I am?” she asks him.
Not to spoil the fun – because we would just love to keep playing this game forever – but let’s cut to the answer. She’s 33. I know, it was quite the climax.
What else happens on this date? A lot. It’s full of fast-paced adventure, adrenaline and personal revelations. There’s almost too much to include in just one recap.
OK, let’s just talk about the biggest moment. When we first meet Ash at the beginning of the date, her hair looks like this:
And then 20 minutes later, her hair gets completely ruined.
Later on at the group date, Jimmy prompts us to ask the age old question: Are those water jets attached to your feet or are you just happy to see me?
“I need to lift my game to get some one-on-one time with Jimmy today,” Sierah declares.
Sierah is a bold woman who isn’t afraid of a challenge. She says she hasn’t had the opportunity to get noticed by Jimmy — and she knows exactly what she needs to do to fix this problem.
The girls are presented with the task: create their own superhero. Most of them don’t think outside the box. But not our Sierah. Sierah knows this is her chance.
“I am Professor Pisser,” she places both hands on her hips as she unveils her costume. “I disarm my enemies by making them piss their pants with my hilarious jokes.”
But that’s not all. She points to some yellow circles stuck to the front of her leotard.
“These are droplets of piss.” Thank gosh she included them — the costume just would not have made sense otherwise.
When it comes time for the cocktail party, we’re expecting a big moment. The most exciting thing that has happened this whole episode is that girl’s hair getting ruined. And while it was satisfying, we would like something more dramatic. Maybe an altercation that results in someone storming out. Or even just someone experiencing some light food poisoning. Producers fail to deliver on any of this.
The only things that come close to storming out are this girl’s boobs:
It’s only after the rose ceremony — as the episode wraps up and the credits roll — that we’re finally given a juicy moment. It comes in the form of a teaser for Thursday night’s episode.
Footage plays of Stephanie sipping a herbal tea while sitting in the living room with some of the other girls.
“So Holly’s a c**t,” she observes.
It sends shockwaves through the mansion. We see rough and ready footage of the fallout.
“Some ugly words were said,” one of the other girls informs the group. “I wouldn’t even say that about my worst enemy.”
It results in a confrontation at Thursday’s cocktail party.
“I didn’t call you a c**t,” Stephanie says.
“I did hear it. And I did think it was really mean,” Brooke argues.
“When did I call her a c**t?” Stephanie asks, before concluding, “Isn’t she kind of one, though?”
It’s all reminiscent of the first C-word scandal that rocked the mansion two years ago. That one’s hard to forget because it wasn’t just a regular C-word scandal — the insult featured a creative twist. The rumour was that one of the girls had called The Bachelor Matt Agnew — and I quote — a “dog c**t”.
In hindsight, we’re kinda disappointed this latest C-word scandal doesn’t include that extra touch of panache like the C-word scandals of yore.